Ode to the Facebook status

I've always been amused by--yet appreciated--the third-person construction of the Facebook status update. It makes it somehow easier for me to be descriptive about what I've been up to, as if the Facebook Jess B. is some fictional woman with a fabulous life who doesn't mind occasionally gracing her friends with a casual description of the wonderful things she's been doing. It also seems a bit schizophrenic, however (see the previous sentence--it's a bit schizo, no?)

For those unfamiliar with Facebook, and thus the status construction I'm referring to, here are a few examples taken from my friends' pages. I've shortened the names to initials for privacy reasons (then again, if you're on Facebook to begin with, you must be OK with a certain amount of scrutiny):

A.B. is so tired...she didn't sleep well at all.

M.R. can't give up on the past because the past never ends.
(Er, a little dramatic, M.R.?...)

And some people blatantly ignore the suggested construction completely. For example:

L.B. Good Morning :)))))))))

Y.K. OK after the ice storm do you think we will ever learn to be calm on the road?

I prefer to stick with the guidelines that the Facebook powers-that-be have suggested.

I also wanted to share in this blog post where I'm at today, and in the spirit of things, I'll do it the Facebook way.

Jess B.:
...is happy the sun was already rising when she woke up at 6:30 today.
...is wearing a skirt and her red heart necklace (and nothing else!).
...has a headache for no reason.
...wonders why she's always ravenously thirsty when she wakes up in the morning.
...has caught the 8:15 bus to Lexington from Alewife for four days in a row and is proud of herself (and thanks the red line) for doing so.
...is nervous (but slightly excited) about the trip to Bethesda next week.
...had a dream last night that she was in a restaurant, and the fire department showed up to evacuate us because the scientific lab next door was about to explode.
...saw someone she vaguely knows last night on the bus ride home from work; he was screaming obscenities and chugging out of a plastic vodka pint bottle.
...is very excited it's Friday; it's been a long week.
...has a framed portrait of her cat by her desk at work and doesn't care who knows it.
...is reading The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri; it's good, but I like her short-story collection better.
...is ending this blog post now.